Family therapist Sebastopol California – Kristy Hellum is a Family therapist in Sebastopol, California. She provides individual therapy, couples therapy, and therapy for teens. Her office is in downtown Sebastopol.
As a warm, interactive psychotherapist I bring 20 plus years experience helping couples, adults, teens and families.
Therapy is an inner journey of self-exploration, self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-expression. With a compassionate therapist, he or she co-creates, witnesses and celebrates your process. The invitation is to increase your compassionate acceptance of your life and come to a wise discernment that then leads to authentic change. Whether resolving trauma, re-creating intimacy in a relationship or strengthening inner resilience, therapy is ultimately aimed at transforming one’s suffering into wisdom.
My training/orientation draws on spiritual traditions, somatic practices, creative arts, mythology and indigenous wisdom Integrating psychology and spirituality with creative imagination, I utilize techniques from the most effective cutting edge psychotherapies, the most recent findings of cognitive/affective neuroscience, and accessible practices of coaching, mindfulness, expressive arts, and yoga.
I have specialized training in treating sex and porn addicts and their partners and work with the leading edge Sonoma team of addiction specialists I offer many years experience with teens and young adults – improving parent-teen communication, gender exploration, healthy sexuality and helping to launch kids from the home.
Please call me to take advantage of my free 30 minute phone consultation 707 599 2000
MY UNIQUE TRAINING
Meridian University in the Bay Area draws on several diversified orientations to psychology that have emerged during the mid to latter part of the twentieth century, including:
- Depth Psychology
- Humanistic Psychology
- Transpersonal Psychology
- Somatic Psychology
- Spiritual Psychology
- Energy Psychology
Licensed in California – MFT, MFC44973
A Psychotherapy orientation that is deeply embedded in best practices and well researched theories including brain science, change theory and attachment theory.
theoretical approaches with soulful appreciation of spiritual practices and honoring the creative imagination.
Schedule includes Saturday and evening hours
Payment options that fit your budget without using insurance. I am happy to offer a sliding scale for those in need and accept paypal and credit cards as well as checks or cash.
Research shows this an effective tool for treating anxiety, depression, PTSD and emotional chaos. Each session begins this way.
Transformation is is at the heart of the therapy journey. Drawing from the richness of the alchemical process, we endeavor to transform all of life’s suffering into wisdom.
CREATIVE ARTS THERAPY
Exploring the unconscious parts of us, many people need and want to use something beyond words, sand tray, poetry, movement, drawing, scribbling, writing. Skilled with these approaches, I am delighted to offer them to you.
Training and orientation draws on spiritual traditions, somatic practices, creative arts, mythology, indigenous wisdom, literary and poetic imagination. Our work together integrates psychology and spirituality with the creative imagination. I earned my Masters Degree in Counseling Psychology at Meridian University near San Francisco in 2001, specializing in a unique postmodern approach to therapy.
I earned a BA in Theater Arts, using theater as a tool for social change. Later I earned a California teaching K-12 credential where I taught sexuality education for 12 years. For three years I produced and directed/co-directed “The Vagina Monologues” working with women ages 16-65, empowering each other through expressive art and sexual healing work.
As a new therapist I was providing services to families,adolescents and children in rural communities and within the Native American community in Northern California. I am deeply honored to have been welcomed into the lives of these families who taught me about methamphetamine addiction and recovery, family violence and forgiveness, the resiliency of children a, marijuana use and misuse and the healing power of love.
Originally from Seattle, I lived in Eugene as a child. I raised a family on the southern edge of the Pacific Northwest where I lived for thirty years in and near Arcata California.
In my spare time I enjoy exploring wild rivers and parks, growing outrageous gardens, being with my family, dancing and teaching NIA and singing in the Joyful Noise Interfaith Gospel Choir in Sebastopol.
Treatment specialization includes:
- Recovering from sexual trauma
- Sex Positive values and exploration
- Increasing intimacy with a partner
- Working with couples in non-sexual marriages.
- Utilizing sacred sexuality models
- Creating healthy sexual relationships and boundaries
- Communicating with Teens
- Mother-Daughter relationship building and communication
You are invited to my office where we can utilize expressive arts, collage, journaling, dreams and as well as insight oriented psycho-education & talk therapy.
I also facilitate Parent-Daughter workshops for younger girls 9-12 years old and their caregivers, encouraging celebration of puberty and becoming a woman.
I offer couples and individuals a safe place to explore gender, sexuality and relationship issues. I celebrate diversity and am a strong LGBTQ ally. I also offer unique perspectives to women in mid-life transitions and offer rite of passage initiations within your circles of support. Healing from childhood sexual shame, trauma and abuse is a sacred journey. Recreating intimacy in long term relationships is possible.
Whether you are an adult, teen, or parent, in or out of a relationship, sexuality education is a lifelong process. I have over 15 years experience as sexuality health educator. I have designed and led weekend retreats on gender reconciliation & creating feminine/masculine balance. I support parents in becoming the best sex educators for their children and teens, provided healthy relationships trainings for colleges, produces and directed The Vagina Monologues, designed HIV and homophobia prevention curricula for high schools and advocate for social sexual training for people with cognitive impairments. I am a proud QLGBT ally.
I use a non-violent communication tool kit with an orientation towards attachment theory and the work of Sue Johnson. (Please see “Couples” page. I support all forms of relationships, and am a gay marriage rights supporter for all.
Are you hoping for a deep, open and conscious relationship, filled with a life time of love and connection? Creating safety and trust that allows for authentic connection and deepening intimacy is our initial work together. My practice with couples centers around attachment theory. Psycho-educational conversations, role playing effective strategies for re-connecting, learning new ways to ask for what you want and laughing all take place in my beautiful Santa Rosa office. I use a non-violent communication tool kit, with suggestions for books and homework assignments. I support all forms of relationships, and am a gay marriage rights supporter.
Listen to Susan Johnson, the author of “Hold Me Tight” on Youtube – What is a Healthy Marriage?
For 15 years I had the good fortune to direct a healthy sexuality education program with adolescents and parents as a teacher and Peer Education Leader for Planned Parenthood in Northern California. Later, as a mental health clinician, I provided counseling for youth healing from child abuse, trauma and parental drug abuse and neglect. I have designed and led healthy relationship and empowerment trainings for young women in groups homes, high schools and in the community.
Teenagers require a specially trained therapist that understands how to develop a meaningful relationship based on mutual respect and dignity. I have led Parent/Teen communication workshops for over 15 years, helping young people feel empowered throughout puberty and adolescence. I offer young people an opportunity to use expressive arts and sand tray, as well as traditional talk therapy integrating cognitive behavioral theory. Developing new decision making skills, evaluating risk taking and moving toward independence, these are tasks that can be taught and supported by parents. I work closely with parents to help their child through challenges.
Parent/Teen communication sessions. Working as a team to get through a crisis or rough time can be the most beneficial form of treatment. If parents want to be involved and stay involved in their teen’s life, these dynamic and often playful sessions together can set the stage for a new way of relating. It is like hitting the refresh button. I am your teen’s ally, and together we make it possible for each other to be deeply listened to. Parents, you will be supported to change your parenting styles and habits that are no longer effective for this stage of development.
Individual teen sessions, your child will know whether this is the best option for them. This investment is priceless. If your teen is resistant to trying therapy, let’s talk. There may be a better way to invite them. I have never had a teen not return after their first session.
I work with a wide variety of issues: divorce, parent/child conflict, life, grief and loss, anger, eating disorders, anxiety, bullying/teasing, peer pressure, drugs and alcohol, depression, learning and behavioral disabilities, body image, and sexuality and gender identity concerns.
As College Instructor in Psychology, I taught experiential and dynamic courses on Personal Growth and Development at College of the Redwoods. With a focus on Humanistic Psychology, behavioral change theory, stress management, healthy sexuality and the individuation process, students rated this course consistently high.
For several years I had the honor of working with Two Feathers Native Family Services, a Native American cultural agency offering child abuse treatment and family therapy. The children taught me they heal through beading, gift giving and turning towards one’s cultural heritage.
Learning Disabilities, ADHD, Emotional Disturbance
I also specialize in working with families whose children are unique learners, including learning disabilities, developmental disabilities and those labeled with ADD/ADHD and “Behavioral Problems”. I offer children and young adults on the Autism/Asperger’s menu and other cognitive impairments, treatment that includes sensory integration and social/sexual training. I work closely with parents and teachers in a respectful, loving and collaborative way. My adult son was born with Down Syndrome and I have been an avid parent advocate for over 23 years.
Facilitator / Trainer
I am well known as a Parent-daughter communication workshop facilitator for puberty age girls and older teens. Please see my MOTHER DAUGHTER WORKSHOP page on this website. I have presented at national conferences as a Sexuality Educator, leading groups, exploring gender, sexuality and healthy relationships. I am a regular guest speaker for teachers-in-training on Inclusion and how to work with families who have children with disabilities. I have presented training to teachers and counselors on Sexual Harassment, Pregnancy and HIV Prevention and Teen Dating Violence. I have co-designed and facilitated 3 day retreats addressing Gender Issues in Men and Women Relationships that integrate ritual and community building.
I see many people experiencing a life transition who are looking for extra guidance and intelligent professional support. Relationship changes, health and career challenges, children leaving home, anxiety and depression, grief support, and parent-child relationships and much more.
My specialty areas include:
- Empowering change, moving forward
- Thriving after Divorce
- ADD ADHD adults
- Gender fluidity
- Depressive and Anxious feeling states
- Adjusting after Baby
- Women & Body Image
- Creative Menopause
- Creative Arts therapy
- Healthy Sexuality
- Sex Positive relationships
- Befriending Dreams
- Grief and loss
- Psychic Grounding
- Children of Divorce
- Families – children with special needs
- Parent-Teen Relationships
- Young adults – Personal Growth and Development
- Adult Child of Alcoholics
- Marijuana use and dependency issues
Mother & Daughter Counseling
I believe that mother- daughter relationships are the most complex, powerful and important relationships in need of tender nurturing and reclaiming in these times. There exists a rich possibility of healing for families and communities when mothers and daughters honor their gifts of feminine strength and connectivity. Biologically linked, bonded through adoption or found later in life, mothers and daughters offer each other opportunities for the necessary re-telling of family stories and eventually, forgiveness. I see girls and mothers together from age 6 and up as well as adult daughters and mothers in the Wisdom years. Mothers of Daughters ages 9-16 are most in need of staying connected through puberty and young womanhood. I would delight in offering you a free phone consultation and to talk about this option for family therapy.
Recommended Reading: Mother Daughter Movies: 101 Films to See Together, Rosemary Rogers and Nell Rogers Michlin with Christine Ernst Bode
Mother-Daughter Communication Workshops
Many parents, caregivers, and young people want to support and talk with each other about growing into healthy, safe, wise and strong women. These workshops for Mothers and Daughters offer a safe supportive atmosphere to practice communicating about positive sexuality, love, dating relationships and healthy choices.
These are practical, interactive and humor filled 2 hour long workshops that have been developed to guide parents, caregivers, educators and mentors (dads can come too!) to assist young women as they develop into womanhood.
My approach to raising daughters is refreshing and takes the dread and worry out of “talking about sex”. The most reluctant teens/ parents coming to these workshops give rave reviews and sign up for more.
“Celebrate Girls” is for younger girls, 9-12 years old and their parents/guardians. Fostering positive attitudes about girl’s bodies and the changes to look forward to during puberty. In a safe and respectful group setting, we talk about love and sex and “where babies come from”. We create plans for celebrating menstruation and laugh a lot. Parents and girls have the chance to have fun while talking about what may have been too embarrassing or confusing.
“Teen Talk” is for 13 to 16 year old daughters and their parents/guardians, addressing healthy dating relationships, peer pressure, decision making, media messages, body image, birth control, STDs, family values, and how to say an “effective no.” Presented with humor and sensitivity,
Experience: During 15 years as a Planned Parenthood Sex Educator, I began developing these workshops. I am known for my wisdom, warmth and humor. I have presented at national conferences as a Sexuality Educator and Teen Peer Education expert, leading adult and Teen groups, exploring gender, sexuality and healthy relationships. I have been a trainer for teachers, counselors and caregivers on Sexual Harassment, Effective Pregnancy and,HIV Prevention and Teen Dating Violence. I hold a California Teaching Credential, working in educational settings from Kindergarten to College.
Request a workshop in your home or community:
Please call to talk about customizing a two-hour workshop for your community (e.g. living rooms, community centers, schools or synagogues and churches). I have presented to PTAs, non-profit organizations, parenting classes, Girl Scouts and book clubs. These workshops are usually held in the evenings and can be hosted by parents or other organizations. Arrangements can be made for a series.
Small groups of twelve to twenty participants are ideal, although audiences of over one hundred in school auditoriums has been done. Fees for workshops are based on a sliding scale: $150-$200 per workshop which are most often paid with participant donations of approximately $20 per family.
For Individual counseling, I offer 50-minute sessions.
Monday – Friday: 9:00am to 5:00pm
$120 for a 50-60 min session. $180 for a 80-90 min intake session. Many couples prefer the longer sessions, however it is a choice. I offer a variety of payment options that include credit cards, cash, checks, or paypal. If you have a low-income and insurance that doesn’t cover counseling, ask about a sliding-fee scale. I offer 20% of my clients a sliding-fee scale that ranges from $80-$100 and is time-limited.
Before you start therapy, we will discuss my payment policies and your options.
Please call me to take advantage of my free 30 minute phone consultation 707 599 2000
Check with me about your insurance. Many insured clients prefer to pay out of pocket for therapy for reasons of medical records and confidentiality.
If you have health insurance, it can be tricky be fully informed about what your insurance company does and does not cover. Many insurance plans cover or reimburse for mental health care, often it is called “behavior health” services. A licensed therapist can provide you with a “super bill” that you can submit to your insurance company for reimbursement, providing the treatment and provider meet your insurance company’s requirements. Being licensed is most often a requirement as is having an informed therapist who understands the correct codes to put on the bill. Although very rare, some therapists will bill your insurance company directly if they are a “preferred provider.” Because most therapist lose money when they attempt insurance billing and find it very difficult to stay in business, they have stopped billing directly. I am licensed therapist and an “out of network” provider. I can give you all the correct paperwork to submit your claim.
It is your responsibility to make sure your therapy is covered. Here are a few tips for doing so:
Contact your insurance company or read your insurance plan to verify your insurance coverage.
Get the name and title of the person with whom you speak.
Ask your insurance company if you need a referral from your primary care physician to work with a MFT. If you do, be sure you get a referral for therapy.
Ask your insurance company about what your policy will cover.
Find out from your insurance company how many visits are covered.
Confirm the amount of your deductible and co-pay.
Ask your insurance company if it requires the therapist to be part of a preferred provider network or if there are any limitations on who you choose to receive therapy from.
If you cannot keep your scheduled appointment, I ask that you notify me 24 hours in advance. I trust that we value each other’s commitments. I will hold your scheduled time open as long as I can and be happy to re-schedule with you.
My customary charge for a missed appointment is $70.00
Please fill out the New Client Intake Form and the Confidentiality Form and bring to your first session.
If you would like me to coordinate care with another professional (e.g., your psychiatrist, primary care physician, etc.), please complete the applicable release of information form below:
Kristy’s reading list
Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love, Sue Johnson. The stories, new ideas and exercises offered in Hold Me Tight are based on the new science of love and the wisdom of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy.
If the Buddha Married? and If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path by Charlotte Kasl
This is sweet bedtime read to your honey. Charlotte blends a bit of Buddhist and Sufi wisdom with Psychology and loving compassion. (And now a new one “If the Buddha Got Stuck”)
Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment, Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks may be getting older, however these timeless books give powerful step-by-step relationship advice to transform a relationship from co-dependence to co-commitmement. And ultimately to what we all want: A deep, open and conscious relationship, filled with love and a connection beyond description. This book has changed many lives, and saved even more relationships.
Embracing the Beloved, by Stephen and Ondrea Levine.
The authors demonstrate how to use a relationship as a means for profound inner growth and healing. Their insights and anecdotes will benefit all who are drawn to looking inward and all who seek a relationship as a path for spiritual renewal. “A poetic and compassionate book about the healing potential of love and familial relationships. Publishers Weekly.
How to Be An Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving, by David Richo. ”Beginning with practical exercises for couples and single, this book offers heartening insights into the lifelong journey of love, from childhood to adulthood, from dating to breakups”
10 Lessons to Transform you Marriage, by John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman.
If you haven’t read the Gottman Institute’s “Love Lab” research, Google it now. “The Gottmans provide vital tools, scientifically based and empirically verified, that you can use to regain affection and romance lost through years of ineffective communication. You’ll strengthen your relationship and make it the most fulfilling it can be.”
A Conscious Person’s Guide to Relationships, Ken Keyes, Jr. Alright it is really old, my copy was published in 1979 but just the chapter titles are useful to read: Chp 5 “Don’t Expect the Relationship to Make You Happy” and Chapter 11 “Develop the Awareness of the Constant Beauty and Perfection of Yourself and Your Partner”. Remember he also wrote “Handbook to Higher Consciousness”. Far out.
Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, by Harville Hendrix. First on the scene 20 years ago, “This book will help any couple find the love they want hidden under all the concealing confusion of a close and intimate relationship.”